God can do anything with curiosity, an open mind, and a yes to stepping into the unknown.
When I signed up for my city service as part of the BSSM school requirements, I had no idea that I would end up where I am today. I signed up for Create to be Free out of curiosity and as an exploration. I connected with the fact that it was a program specifically created to help people who have been impacted by trauma since I personally have walked through many seasons of trauma in my life and wanted to find a way to use my experiences to help others. The ache in my heart from my past drew me helping others who had also experienced trauma. I am not an artist but I always used to have my hands on all kinds of crafts and projects as a kid, so I wanted to reconnect with that part myself as well. I really had no idea what I was getting into, it just sounded interesting to me at the time.
Fast forward a few months--an opportunity came up to do the program at a youth prison. I've never had any interest in working with youth or incarcerated individuals, but my curiosity got me. I needed to see what their experience was like and step into their world. So I signed up. What was on the other side of that yes completely surprised me.
Walking into the prison that day, I was met with broken hearts, hopelessness, discouragement, shame, and fear. I could see the pain in their eyes. I shared parts of my own story that day--how I had lost hope for a long time in my life, but how I had also regained it and why I decided to hope again. As the kids painted and as we talked afterwards, my heart was overwhelmed with compassion. All I wanted to do was make them feel loved, seen, and safe. I wanted them to know they were beautiful and amazing, that their lives have meaning and purpose, and there is hope for them. I wanted them to know that they are loved just as they are and that someone believes in them. I knew they had never received this kind of unconditional love at home--I could see in their eyes what I once felt, and I prayed that God would meet their needs and the cries of their heart.
I ended up falling in love with the kids and had to go back! So I decided to become a regular volunteer at the youth prison and have begun developing relationships with the kids and get to pour into their lives on a regular basis. I recently received a word from program facilitator at the prison that after hearing my story, one of the young men felt hope for the first time and decided that he wanted to turn his life around. He now wants to pursue his goals, and college once he gets out.
Meeting these kids and hearing their stories hit home for me. A lot of the trauma I experienced growing up led to dysfunction and poor choices in my own life. But, thanks to God's amazing grace and love and his mad pursuit of me, I am now on a journey to wholeness.
This opportunity with the youth prison has allowed me to share my journey with others and to take strides towards stopping the cycle and perpetuation of dysfunction. As I continue, I'm learning that I don't have to be perfect or have my process all figured out in order to help others. We are all on our journeys and in process, but I see great purpose in being able to extend a hand to someone around me along the way, to help them up and point them in the direction of healing as we cross paths in life. Life is about relationship and sharing our lives and our stories with each other. Every open door is an opportunity for God to create connection and heal hearts.
All of this began with a simple decision to say yes to the open door in front of me, even though I had no idea what would be on the other side or why I was even doing it. I was just curious. And the truth is, I still am. Living this life is like turning the pages of a book each day, eager to see what God will do next. God is the most creative storyteller and he has a way of redeeming everything that once seemed lost. Nothing is beyond repair, nothing is beyond redemption. All it takes is a yes.
